MarryMePINK: Planning The Big Day

Planning Your Big Wedding Day

We put together a list of projects you need discuss and plan before you say "I Do"
When it comes to planning any wedding, there are many decisions you will have to make. For most couples it takes anywhere from six to ten months to plan their wedding. There are many details you have to thing about, where to have the reception venues, how to find the perfect photographer, and what will be the wedding style best suited for both of you and a lot more.

Planning your wedding reception can seem overwhelming, but we're here to help you understand the process of what planning your wedding would be. In order to have a stress-free wedding day, you must think about the big picture to avoid making any mistake that most people do when they don't plan in advance.

budget
First, figure out your budget and how much you want to spend. It is important to decide on a maximum DOLLARS number you could spend before you do any planning. If you are planning a wedding on a budget, you can find tons of great tips and advice on the internet. The only thing you will need is time for research.

guest list
You must finalize your guest list and know how many people you're inviting so that the venue would be able to accommodate your party. Your guest list will determine your catering and bar tab, and how many servers, hosts tables and flower arrangements you will need. Cutting the number of people you invite to your wedding is the quickest way to cut costs in wedding budgets.

wedding gown and tuxedos
When it comes to your wedding dress allow yourself enough time to order your dream wedding gown. If you choose to buy a couture or customized wedding gown, you should order the dress at least six months in advance. this way you will have enough time for all the fittings you want and you for sure will be getting the dress you want.

wedding planner / coordinator
If you are the type who gets overwhelmed, we would highly recommend hiring a wedding planner or a wedding coordinator for everything or for partial time. This person will be a huge help and you wouldn't have to worry about all the little details.

wedding theme and colors
It's best to have your wedding colors in mind before you begin planning your wedding reception. Once you've decided on your wedding colors and how formal you want your wedding to be, start searching for the sorts of wedding reception decorations that will help pull together your wedding theme.
If you've already got an idea of your general style and theme, it's time to dive into planning the details. If there is anything you might be able to do yourself– just do it and save.

Invitations + Stationery
Browse wedding invites online that suit your wedding style. When you've got a general idea of what you want, find a stationer in your area who suits your style and then work with them to come up with your invitation wording. Whether you’re a creative person or not every detail will cost you money. Creating your wedding invitations, menu cards or ceremony programs you can use your computer, or just ask for help! If you have creative friends or relatives, get them to the rescue – they will be happy to help you! This is a great way to save money and to add a personal touch on all of your wedding details.

wedding venue
Choosing the right wedding venue can be the most expensive part of your wedding, but there are other options for a wedding on a budget. Outdoor weddings don't require as much decor and they can save you money and they are always a winner. Another way to save would be a chocolate and champagne reception instead of a sit down dinner that could be very costly.

Wedding Cakes
Start searching through wedding cake pictures to help figure out which wedding cake designs suit your style . It's best to have your wedding colors in mind before you begin and then check out pictures of wedding cakes to get a sense for the shade that will match your palette best. Next, find a baker who can make your wedding cake a reality and can create something more dramatic, with elaborate patterns and innovative detailing that will definitely make a statement.

wedding party gifts
Get personal with it too––think movie tickets, get a DVD movie and pick a love story so it would make a connection to the married couple. A collection of your favorite songs on a CD made by you. This special gift is personal, and people love these items. Get your friends and family to help you, Create a book marks with the bride and the groom names on it, or even monogrammed jewelry.

Wedding Flowers
Most people spend thousand of dollars on flower arrangements center pieces for their wedding ceremony. Before you decide to hire a florist, check get free estimates from 3-5 florists and then check their references. Ask them for ideas and how they see your theme coming to life with their creativity. Ask to see photos of their creations and call their previous customers to find out if they were good and easy to work with.

Ceremony Vows
Whether you're writing your own wedding vows or planning to have a more traditional wedding ceremony, exchanging your wedding vows can be one of the most memorable moments of your wedding day. If you're writing your vows and don't know where to start, think about the significance of the words you share. They should be a reflection of yourselves as a couple. Of course, your vows aren't the only part of the ceremony you need to think about –– your back-round music, a special song or a special reading can set the tone for your wedding ceremony.

Bridal Party
You know you can't get married without your best girls (and guys!), but what exactly does picking your bridal party involve? First things first, make sure you don't pick your wedding party attendants too soon. A good rule of thumb is to wait until about nine months before the ceremony. This makes it less likely that you and your attendants will grow apart before the wedding, so that you don't wish you'd picked someone else! Once you've made your selections, it's time to figure out what everyone is going to wear. Do you want your wedding party to look uniform? Or would you rather just keep them coordinated? One way to go is to let everyone pick their own outfits, keeping in mind a specific color, fabric, or style. As the wedding approaches, don't forget to let your bridal party know how much you appreciate their support with a small gift or with a special card you can make for them.

Wedding Favors:
Whether you give matchbooks or bookmarks, unique wedding favors can be a generous way to thank your guests. If you are creative and you want to save money, create a CD with your favorite tunes, or an album with photos of the bride and groom from the time they met to the wedding day could add a personal unique touch, a gift your guests will appreciate and remember for years.

Music & Dancing
From the ceremony processional to the first dance, figuring out the right songs for weddings can definitely be a challenge. If you're not sure where to start, here's a rundown of wedding party songs and wedding reception music suggestions to last through to the final dance.

Photo & Video
Long after the wedding cake is eaten, your wedding photo albums and wedding video will be the way you revisit some of the best moments of your special wedding day. Take your time by choosing the right photographer and check their credentials. You want to pick a friendly photographer who has many ideas and the right experience.

Ceremony Timetable

Planning a timetable to follow for your wedding day must be customized to each individual situation. The following guidelines assume a church wedding with wedding photos taken in advance of the ceremony, which is becoming more popular every year.

Two and a half to three hours prior to the ceremony:
The bride, her mother, and attendants arrive at the church and begin putting on their makeup, curling their hair, (if not previously done by a professional salon) and dressing. This is expected to take approximately one hour, leaving a full hour, plus, for wedding photographs.

Two hours prior to the ceremony:
The florist should arrive with the alter baskets, bouquets, corsages, boutonniere's, and other assorted wedding flowers.
The groom, his parents, and attendants will arrive at the ceremony site and pin on their wedding flowers.
The brides father should also arrive at this time if he did not come earlier with the bride and her mother.
The ushers will assist in pinning corsages on the mothers and other honored guests who have arrived early for the photography session.
Photographs begin at this time especially when you have a large wedding party.

One hour prior to the ceremony:
Pre-wedding photos should be completed no later than one hour prior to the ceremony.
The bride and her attendants will take this opportunity to freshen makeup, possibly touch up the wedding gown with a puff of steam where it may have wrinkled during the photo session, and take a quick breather.
Snack trays are a great idea in the dressing area, but be sure not to include items that will stain or mark clothing. Fresh vegetable trays are a great idea. (You may want to consider forgetting the ranch dressing, as if it is spilled on a garment it will leave a grease mark when quickly spot cleaned).

Forty-five minutes prior to the ceremony:
The ushers will want to be certain of the seating arrangements and be available in the vestibule of the church for early arrivers.
The best man should see to it that the marriage license has been given to the pastor if it was not done so earlier.

Thirty minutes prior to the ceremony:
The organist begins to play the prelude music as the ushers escort guests to their seats.

Ten minutes prior to the ceremony:
Time for a final "once over" for the wedding participants.

Five minutes prior to the ceremony:
The head usher will escort the groom's mother to her seat.
The groom's father follows a few feet behind the usher, then takes his seat beside his wife. It lends a nice touch to the wedding for a son to escort his mother down the isle at his brothers wedding whether or not he is the head usher.
Mothers have also been escorted to their seat by the groom, when that is the desire of the couple.
Immediately following the seating of the mother of the groom, the brides mother is escorted to her seat.
If the ushers are also the grooms attendants, they will now take their place with the wedding party.

Ceremony time:
Special music plays as the candle lighting ceremony begins.
Music changes to the chosen "processional" as the candle lighters leave the auditorium or find their seats.
The minister, groom and best man step into their places at the front of the church.
The wedding party enters, either as couples or the bridesmaids only, if the groomsmen took their place at the front of the church moments earlier with the groom and best man.
The maid of honor follows behind the bridesmaids.
The flower girl and ring bearer behind her.
As everyone takes their places at the front of the church, the organist will change to the music for the bride and her father's entrance.
The congregation will rise in honor of the bride.

Planning Your Wedding Check List
There are many things that you need to consider when you decide to get married. The most important thing is to organize everything in advance so your wedding day will be stress-free. PINK put together two check list options and you can decide to pick one up or combine the two option into one. This will be an easy way for you to cope with your planning your big day.

check list: option #1

Six to Twelve Months before the Wedding

First things First. . . Determine your wedding date.
Choose the style and formality of your wedding which best suits your lifestyle and personality. "Classic Formal," "Formal," "Semi-Formal" or "Informal."
Discuss your wedding budget. "Who pays for what?" Will your parents contribute?
Choose a color scheme and theme for your wedding.
Explore possible chapels, churches or synagogue locations. Be sure to put a security deposit on your desired selection. Remember - to guarantee your favorite wedding and reception site, reservations must often be made a year or more in advance.
Choose your honor attendants, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and ushers, requesting their participation in your ceremony.
Carefully select a bridal gown and veil to reflect your personality and style. When you find the gown of your dreams, order it immediately. It often requires a minimum of three to four months for a special order gown to arrive from the factory. Allow additional time for alterations and final fittings. Be prepared to make at least a 50% deposit. There are NO REFUNDS on wedding gown purchases. Be sure of your selection! If it is a one-of-a-kind gown and no longer reorderable, or on a sale rack, buy it today. In some areas, rental of your wedding gown may be an option to consider.
Select your bridesmaid gowns and accessories. Place gown orders, for each maid, at the same time, to assure an identical dye lot.
Interview caterers, if not already included in your favored reception site. Once you have made your final choice, be sure to secure the date with a signed contract and a security deposit. Here again, be certain of your selection, as your deposit may well be nonrefundable in the event you cancel or change your date.
Compile your guest list. Remember, you have five lists to combine and refine. Yours, his, your family's, his family's and your master list of the four. When the guest list must be kept to a specific or limited number, be sure to give your family's the number of guests they may add to their list. Do this when you request the list, rather than after you receive it, to keep from having hurt feelings in the event you must eliminate names.
Begin interviewing wedding photographers, videographers and musicians. In many areas, it may behoove you to make your selection and put a deposit on your date to insure their availability for your event. Because your deposits will likely be nonrefundable, and many times, nontransferable, be certain of your date and time before placing your reservation.
Engagement parties are appropriate during this time. Also see "Pre-Wedding Parties and Events."
Send your engagement announcement to the local newspaper.

Four to Six Months Before the Wedding

Obtain the completed guest lists from fiancé and both families. Compile your final master list to determine the number of invitations and announcements to be ordered. Also see "How to Order Invitations for OurMarriage"
Select your wedding cake, giving careful consideration to style, flavors, size, decoration and color. Consider fresh flowers and strings of removable pearls. Google "Tips on Cutting and Serving your Wedding Cake"
Order wedding invitations, announcements, thank you cards and personal stationary.
Reserve your florist, plan your floral display and order all wedding flowers. Google "Flowers for Marriage"
Choose your wedding music, secure musicians and soloists. Google "Music for Marriage"
Consult with your travel agent and discuss honeymoon destinations. Make arrangements early for lowest airfares.

Three to Four Months Before the Wedding

Select Mothers gowns and accessories. Order immediately if not in hanging stock. Also see "Responsibilities of the Mother of the Bride" and "Responsibilities of the Mother of the Groom"
Select tuxedos' for the groom, his attendants and fathers both side. Measurements should be submitted to the tux shop within the next month. It is preferable for attendants to be measured at the formal wear shop to insure proper fit and minimize returns and exchanging garments the morning of the wedding.
Arrange accommodations for out-of-town guests.
Arrange transportation or limousine service for the wedding party to the ceremony and reception.
Discuss final menu options and costs with your caterer. Confirm arrival and departure times. Google "When Choosing a Caterer for Marriage"
Order wedding favors and imprinted items such as napkins, matches and engraved attendant gifts.
Arrange for rental of items needed for your ceremony and reception. Items such as, candelabras, arches, alter baskets, kneeling bench, flowing punch fountains, china, crystal, flatware and silver serving accessories, if desired.
Begin counseling sessions with wedding officiant when required.

Six to Eight Weeks Before the Wedding

Begin addressing invitations and announcements.
Draw diagram to ceremony and reception for inclusion in your invitation.
Finalize your "Order of Service" for the ceremony and order wedding program.
Arrange for physical examinations and blood tests if required to obtain marriage license in your state.
Select a location for your rehearsal dinner and make necessary reservations.
Confirm formal wear shop has received measurements of your male attendants. Follow up immediately with anyone not yet fitted.
Schedule alterations and final fitting for your wedding gown.
Schedule fittings for bridesmaids and flower girls.
Finalize honeymoon plans and confirm reservations.
Make arrangements for your "Bridesmaid Luncheon" and other "Pre-Wedding Parties and Events".

Four to Six Weeks before the Wedding

Discuss and finalize details with the following people:
Pastor/Officiant Church Soloist
Caterer Florist Baker/Cake Decorator
Bridal Shop Tux Shop Limo Service
Photographer Videographer Travel Agent
Musicians/DJ Jeweler/Engraver Rehearsal Dinner Site
Schedule appointment with hairdresser for bride, attendants and mothers. A popular alternative today is to hire a hair stylist and makeup artist to meet with the wedding party. ( decide on location, price and time)
Complete trousseau shopping.
Send Wedding Invitations four weeks prior to your wedding date to local/regional guests. Guests needing to make travel arrangements should receive their invitation six weeks in advance.
Attend parties given in your honor.

Two to Four Weeks before the Wedding

Apply for your marriage license. Be sure to call ahead for a list of required documents.
Confirm rehearsal plans with your officiant and church wedding coordinator.
Send Thank You Cards as gifts begin to arrive. google "How to Write a Thank You Card."
Arrange to move belongings to your new home.
Arrange for name change, as necessary.
Bank Accounts, Driver License, Vehicle Registration
Passport, Post Office, Social Security Card
Credit Cards, Voter Registration, Insurance Policies
Subscriptions, Dr./Dental Records, Employment Records

check list: option #2

Few Days After the Engagement

Discuss a budget, guest list. and decide who pays for what.
Decide on a wedding style theme and colors
Discuss hiring a wedding planner or part time coordinator.
Reserve a Chapel, cinagogue or other wedding/reception site.
Find a gay clergy.
Discuss pre-marital counseling / lawyer.
Find a caterer (check references).
Register at local bridal registries.
Find a photographer (check references).

Six Months Before the Wedding

Prepare the guest list.
Reserve a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.
Choose engagement & wedding rings.
Send your engagement announcement to newspapers.
Select & order wedding gown.
Select the attendants (bridesmaids & groomsmen).
Choose & order bridesmaids dresses.
Select one usher for every 50 guests.
Choose a videographer (get references).
Make arrangements for the music at the wedding & reception.
Check out bakers for cake, etc. Get estimates. Book the date.
Complete all honeymoon plans. Check on visas, passports & inoculations
Look for wedding rings. If you decide to have engraving.

Four Months Before the Wedding

Complete the guest list & confirm final details with the caterer.
Order invitations & personal stationery and "Thank You" notes. Make sure you get few extra
Order napkins & purchase any other items needed for the ceremony & reception.
Check with the caterer to see what is included.
Find a reliable good photographer and discuss the specifics. Read "Photographer Checklist" before you meet with him/her.
Get estimates for flowers & floral arrangements, decorations, balloons and favors for wedding & reception.
Decide and book the kind of transportation you want to use from the wedding & the reception. (limousine, party bus, trolley or horse-drawn carriage)
Make reservations for an hotel or the wedding night.
Make honeymoon plans.

Two Months Before the Wedding

Order tuxedos for the groomsmen & fathers.
Mail invitations (six weeks before the wedding; eight weeks to out-of-town guests).
Find a hair stylist and a make up artist for the bride, mothers and brides maids. Confirm date, time and prices
Buy a wedding gift for your future spouse & gifts for attendants and helpers (bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girls, ring bearers, etc.).
Finalize arrangements of accommodations for out-of-town attendants & guests.

One Month Before the Wedding

Choose accessories, shoes & lingerie for bridal gown.
Have the final fitting for bridal gown & bridesmaids' dresses,
Have beauty consultant do a trial run with bride's hair & makeup.
Schedule this appointment on the day the bridal portrait is taken and/or a party is planned.
Have bridal portrait taken.
Register all tuxedo sizes with the formal wear store.
Check with the newspapers on wedding announcement requirements.
Finalize plans for rehearsal dinner.
Arrange bridesmaids' luncheon. Often, that is when the bride gives them their gifts.
Complete name-change documents.
Complete change-of-address information for post-office.
Keep current with "Thank You" notes for shower & early wedding gifts.

Two Weeks Before the Wedding

Appoint someone to act as an "organizer" to handle any last minute problems.
Get the marriage license. Be sure to bring all needed documents.
Inform or send invitations including exact time & location to those who will attend the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner.
Inquire about where you & your attendants will dress for the ceremony.
Walk through the entire event in your mind. Consider things like parking, access for handicapped guests, etc.
Confirm all transportation plans.
Check in with caterer, photographer, videographer, musicians, DJ, florist, etc. to confirm all arrangements.
"Break in" wedding shoes at home.
Confirm honeymoon arrangements.

A Week Before the Wedding

Final seating arrangements for the rehearsal dinner & reception.
Final guest count to the caterer.
Review final details for those in the wedding party.
Pack for the honeymoon. • Decide on what to wear when you leave the reception.
Enjoy a day with your family and friends.
Visit a day spa, have a massage, a facial and relax.

One Day Before the Wedding

The rehearsal & rehearsal dinner.
Give the rings & clergy member's fee to the Best Man.